Of Marriage and Ministry

I just saw an excellent question posted on social media to a group of Christian singles. The question, in essence, was: could you marry another believer who had a different view of End Times (eschatology) than you?

I thought I should reply to it, because I am an Assistant Pastor for a local church. I am also currently single and willing to get married again someday. I wrote:

I'm a Historicist, like Kelley Varner, Steve Wohlberg, Charles Jennings, and Robert Caringola. (Christians usually subscribe to one of three eschatology views: Historicism, Preterism or Futurism).
I would rather be married to someone who sees things more the way I do, but I can be flexible. HOWEVER, such a woman might have trouble accepting me if she is a futurist because I teach Biblical Historicism at the church and she would end up being there (if she was married to me). If you are going to be married to a pastor/Bible teacher, I think it makes more sense for the two to be on the same page with some major doctrines. Things are a little more complex when you are in the ministry because everyone is watching you and your spouse. Unity is important to being effective leaders.

For instance, my pastor (whom I am assistant pastor to) is married and he is a historicist as well. His wife fully supports his teaching from Scripture and his ministry. She does not handle eschatology much in her own sermons. That is more what he does. I teach eschatology too. But if his wife was to show disagreement with him, that would detract from his message. So if she DID disagree with a major doctrine, she would have to be careful not to make that public in the church or it would undermine her husband.

See, I am in a pastoring and teaching ministry. I need a show of solidarity from my future wife... so that my leadership is not undermined. Even if she does not agree with every point. Now disagreements do happen to every couple.... of course. But a healthy couple can work through things together in private. Then in public ministry, they can be unified and function as a team. This will help breed certainty amongst the congregants. No one wants to follow a pastor whose wife is always disagreeing with him. That is a recipe for confusion and weakness and dissention in the church.

Things go much smoother when BOTH the husband and the wife are in agreement about major doctrines of eschatology and soteriology and pneumatology etc. It is needed in order for a pastor and his wife to be an effective leadership team. Even if the wife is not a "pastor" herself, she IS a leader. Being married to a pastor automatically brings her into a prominent leadership role that other women will follow, whether she realizes it or not.