Seasonal Changes Can Help Us Grow

The transition can be a challenge or it can go smoothly. Either way, seasons do change and we must learn how to adapt and adjust to the shift in the seasons.

I was single for 13 years until I got married in June this year, 2022. I met my current wife, Jenny in 2020. This relationship is a blessing and an amazing match by the Lord Jesus.

We believe God helped us. I am now married to an amazing and sincere Christian woman who is serious about following Jesus and supporting me in my pastoral ministry at Church On The GO. 

It is my story of loss and now, recovery. I once was abandoned by a former wife who wore a "Christian" mask but was not a true follower in practice. I was faithful to the end, but she cared about education, not me. She certainly didn't care about the Lord. (Education worship = Eating from The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil- sounds familiar right? See Genesis chapter 3.) 

I spent years healing from divorce due to being abandoned. Divorce is a serious type of loss, similar to the death of a loved one. Then God got me focused on ministering to other singles, especially those who were brokenhearted and abandoned/divorced. I was already an assistant pastor at Church On The GO. But I then added a new aspect to my ministry at the lead pastor's request: ministry to Christian adult (18+) singles once a month. I decided to call it Christian Singles On The GO. My first meeting was in July 2014.

I started teaching discipleship to our church's singles and showing that both marriage and singleness are valid ministry gifts when harnessed by the Lord and guided by the Holy Spirit. See 1 Corinthians chapter 7. And I taught Ecclesiastes chapter 3- God works in seasons on the earth. If it is on earth, it is subject to seasons: literal seasons or circumstantial seasons or spiritual seasons. And marriage and singleness are both seasons. Those who never get married may think this is not a season.... but your whole life on earth is still just a season. Only heaven is eternal.  

Now around Februrary 2022, as the time for my marriage drew near, our leaders felt I should still lead the singles group. The only difference is that I added an extension to the title: PLUS LOSS AND RECOVERY. My marriage to Jenny is my story of recovery. This is my season of recovery.

And seasons change to help us grow. And marriage is helping me flourish. 

 My example, by God's grace and Spirit, serves to show singles what God can do in a faithful person's life if they only trust the Lord and obey Him and submit to His process of recovery. Not that all singles need to get married. I make that clear to our people. Recovery is a lot more than just relationships. God recovers our spirit and our soul through salvation and our life and our health and many other things, not just relationships. The most important thing God wants to recover is our relationship to HIM! Only through Jesus! (See John 14:6). Be reconciled to God through Christ! (See 2 Cor. 5:20-21) 

Photo (c) Curtis J Alexander

So I am now a married man involved in a variety of ministry and marketplace vocational  activities: this includes leading our monthly singles group. My marriage shows that God is a God of recovery and He knows best when to change the seasons in our circumstances. 

When your seasons change, be ready to do things differently from then on. That season could be a new job. A new friend. A new church. A new volunteer position. A new ministry at church, etc. OR it could be a new marriage, as in my case. No matter the change you are experiencing, be ready to go with the Holy Spirit and be flexible to Him. His leading is always right and you are going to experience some growing pains even if they are only minor. Such changes help us grow. God often changes a situation when we need to grow.

And of course, seasons change when we make choices. You must agree to take on the job, or the relationship or the new ministry role. It is your choice. And yet, it is still God working all things for GOOD for those who love Him and are called by Him. (See Romans 8:28)

 

What works in one season will not always work in the next. For instance, going back to marriage and singleness: both are equally valuable gifts. Jesus and Paul and Jeremiah all made use of singleness on the earth, to advance God's Kingdom in the Bible. They did so in a way that works best when they remain unmarried. 

But now that I am married I am adjusting to a married lifestyle, blessed in new and different ways. I was blessed as a single. Now I am blessed as a married man.
 I am adapting over time to new routines and patterns where both me and my wife accommodate each other with kindness and understanding. 

I hope this encourages you to always trust in Jesus Christ as King and Lord and Saviour. He will guide and shift your seasons and circumstances according to His calling on your life! 

1 Corinthians 7:17 NKJV

17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches.

 

God bless,

Pastor Curtis

www.churchonthego.ca

Sat Nov 26 2022.

12:19am Eastern Time.  

"Loved and Single" - A Short Story

Loved And Single
A Short Story By Curtis J. Alexander.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The man sat down. He thought and he prayed. He was glad that it was all over. He reflected often on the gratitude he felt. He was grateful for peace.

The pain, the strife, the lies he was fed: all of it was gone. God had set him free from her storm. Here he was, now alone, and blessed. He was sipping his hot coffee, reading his 1599 Geneva Bible.
The silence in the halls was an invitation for him to sing and play piano. The empty bedroom, an invitation to stay up later and study God's word or create a new music video.

Oh there was depression for a time. And he went low. He sank down for a time. Had it not been for the Lord, I am sure he would still be in the pits of pity and despair today. But the Lord hoisted him out of those dark days. He brought him into the light.

The man learned not to trust in women or in things or in marriage. He learned to trust in God and God alone. Women can fail. So can men. Marriages can fail. But Jesus never fails. God never fails. God is Love. Love never fails.

Jesus Christ was and is his completion. Jesus completed him. He had known Jesus as Saviour since he was a small child. But this realization of completion came to him in stages as the Holy Spirit would gently pull back the curtain on his understanding of singleness and the Word of God. The man took 2 years to recover from divorce. After that, he began to reopen himself to the possibility of dating again. Yet dating would be sparse, almost non-existent. And in that sparseness came a dense forest of revelation from God, about God. In that sparseness, came a flood of freedom to the man. Freedom from old sins. Freedom from depression. Freedom from a dependance on romance or marriage. Freedom from a dependance on the idea of soul mates. Freedom to create in a variety of ways: music, photography, poetry and lyrics. Freedom to minister to and love God's people at the local church above the train station.
God had indeed taught the man what it means to be fully dependant on Christ alone. In Christ alone was his sufficiency. In Christ alone was his all. And in Christ alone was the courage he needed to walk the walk of a single, divorced pastor. He was growing in his walk as a disciple of Christ. He refused to be defined by the woman who abandoned him in marriage. She had been viewing God as the enemy. And as a result, he suffered for it. So, he refused to let his identity be found in those who could not or would not love him. He refused to be defined by the woman who married him in pretence and had no intention of remaining with him and honouring her vows. Instead He found his identity in his maker and saviour, Jesus Christ. He welcomed the Love of Christ with all his heart, spirit, and mind.

The man grew stronger in Jesus, and in His Love. He moved on in life. He made mistakes too. And learned from them, in grace. As the years rolled by, more new songs emerged from his tongue and his fingers. His didactic music videos lit up a small corner of the internet. He continued to be used by God in the local church family. And single believers began to ask for his ministry. So he began to ask the Lord for guidance and started to teach the singles how to live as a single for Jesus. He relished it. He realized that his life experiences would now be valuable and helpful in expressing compassion and love to those who did not experience a happy marriage and to those who did not experience any marriage at all. He threw himself into teaching the singles ministry.

With some powerful heart-level healing from God, some new light from the Lord, the man would now be ready to walk this new chapter of his life. He would honour his theme verse in 1 Corinthians 7:17... to walk as the Lord called him. He made the decision to leave the door open to a new marriage someday. Perhaps that would be years from now. It did not concern him, because he already found completion in Christ. He found all the love he needs. Through the loss and pain of abandonment and divorce, this man discovered that Christ was all He ever needed. Christ was and is more than able to love the man and fulfill him in every way possible.

This is the continuing story of a man who is loved and single.

 

If you valued this short story, please consider giving a one-time donation! Thank you!
--
CJA Oct 9 2016 4:23pm EST

Waiting Does Not Mean Wasting Time

I came across this meme on social media tonight:

I think it is good. I would, however like to clarify what "waiting" is about in this context.
Keep in mind I have not remarried yet in almost 7 years. I have had no steady relationships in that time since I was abandoned, and my first marriage ended. Yet I am really involved with ministry more and more. My miracle ministry that survived divorce has been preserved by the Lord. I am to teach and to preach and to minister in my local church. That is my privilege and honour. Whether I get married or not, this is my calling. It is the cross I bear. What is the cross you bear for Jesus?

So to this meme I say:

Yes of course waiting on God is important.

But... It is also important to position oneself for receiving. One must keep praying in Jesus' Name, and keep asking and keep seeking. It's not enough to just sit back and do nothing. When some people think of waiting they imagine themselves sitting in a doctors office, waiting to be called. No.

In this context, "waiting on God" means working for Him in your calling. It means you do not act outside His will, but you DO act according to His will. Waiting on God does not mean standing around doing nothing, wasting the gift of singleness. The more years one can get in doing the work of God, the better. Because once marriage comes, your time will be divided and you will have to please both The Lord and also your spouse. Believe me, that is no easy task.

(1 Cor. 7:32-33)

 

Wait on God by praying for your future spouse to come. Then ....get back to work! Serve Jesus. Spread the Gospel. Love one another in the churches. Serve God in the ministry you have. All Christians have a ministry. Be faithful.

Go all out for Jesus as a single. NOW is your time to serve and bless Him and bless others. You will never again have this THIS level of freedom to please the Lord. You will never again get this many options where you are free to make choices in Christ without considering a spouse's plans or feelings.

 

You have a commission. Serve God in it, and really press into your love relationship with Jesus Christ our God and Saviour. Don't think that waiting means wasting. Not a chance. Waiting means you position yourself thankfully and prayerfully, and then get busy and do what God called you for in ministry.
Yes, you keep putting yourself in position for meeting a special person. But your focus must remain on your calling. The only way you will ever know who to marry is by cultivating your calling in Christ. Jesus does not call us to marriage or singleness per se. He calls us to love Him, to spread His Gospel, and to die to self and follow Him. THAT is the call. In a word, the call is DISCIPLESHIP. And, regardless of your marital status, marriage cannot ever be more important than discipleship. And the geographic details of your call will vary from mine. Nevertheless, now is the day to serve God and worship Him and love Him.
Love those He puts in your path. Feed the sheep with the truth of Jesus Christ, who is the Bread of Heaven and the Living Water. In 1 Corinthians 7:7, Paul calls marriage and singleness "gifts". They are not the call, but gifts. The Call is always discipleship. And discipleship is always an individual experience before the Lord. Discipleship cannot be blocked by marriage or family or past or current condition. As you read through 1 Corinthians 7 you realize the key is not found in marriage OR singleness. The key is this,

 

1 Corinthians 7:171599 Geneva Bible (GNV)

¹⁷ But as God hath distributeth to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk: and so ordain I in all Churches.

 

 

God bless,

Pastor Curtis