Healthy Boundaries in The Lord
I am a middle aged bivocational pastor (I am also full time department manager for a store.) I have been at these aspects of my calling for years. And unlike my younger self, I find I am not able to ignore the need for restorative rest and time alone. I have started seeing the healthy boundaries of Jesus in scripture. He needed rest time, alone with the Heavenly Father. So do we, His followers. He was God, yet was He was also human. He modeled an ideal lifestyle.
I have realized the need to stop pushing myself and rest sometimes. Pray often. Talk to the Lord Jesus. Jesus Himself was an example of balance when dealing with the demands of ministry and the need to rest and recover. Also He dealt with grief. In the passage below, Jesus had just heard about the death/execution of John The Baptist, His cousin. He was clearly in need of time alone with the Heavenly Father to grieve and feel sorrow. Humans need to process and feel their sorrow, not hide and deny it. We, like Jesus, need to submit our soulish feelings to the Holy Spirit, and live by the Spirit of God, and by the Living Word of God. But how can we submit our feelings if we do not first feel those feelings? This is done by getting away from the crowds, from ministry, from work, and sometimes away from friends too.
I want to encourage you to read this passage. Most of the time, we focus on Jesus performing the miracles in this chapter, the multiplying of the bread and fish, and the walking on water later in the chapter. And those are very amazing feats of Jesus. No question.
But right now, I want to highlight how Jesus deals with His need for rest and His need to grieve the loss of John the Baptist.
Matthew 14:10-23
10 So he sent and had John beheaded in prison. 11 And his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, and she brought it to her mother.
12 Then his disciples came and took away the body and buried it, and went and told Jesus.
13 When Jesus heard it, He departed from there by boat to a deserted place by Himself. But when the multitudes heard it, they followed Him on foot from the cities. 14 And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick. 15 When it was evening, His disciples came to Him, saying, “This is a deserted place, and the hour is already late. Send the multitudes away, that they may go into the villages and buy themselves food.”
16 But Jesus said to them, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”
17 And they said to Him, “We have here only five loaves and two fish.”
18 He said, “Bring them here to Me.”
19 Then He commanded the multitudes to sit down on the grass. And He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, He blessed and broke and gave the loaves to the disciples; and the disciples gave to the multitudes.
20 So they all ate and were filled, and they took up twelve baskets full of the fragments that remained. 21 Now those who had eaten were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
22 Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away.
23 And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there.
Now I want us to zero in on Jesus' grief and also His need to be alone at this time. See how the crowds are oblivious to the loss Jesus feels. They just came to see the miracle worker, and get blessed with a healing. So He, in His sorrow, has true deep compassion on the multitude, and even corrects the disciples for suggesting that Jesus sends the crowds away. Jesus POSTPONES His own needs to care for the needs of the people. He even performs a miracle and divides 5 loaves and 2 fish endlessly until all 5000 men (plus women and children) were fed.
Jesus temporarily puts His own rest and alone time on hold to care for the sheep. His disciples probably could tell that Jesus was feeling the pain of loss. Sometimes, that is what ministry is. In my 22 years of involvement at Church and in ministry leadership, I have come to realize this. Pastors must sometimes (or often) POSTPONE their needs to look after the needs of God's flock. But that does NOT mean we are to NEGLECT our needs. God will care for us if we seek first His Kingdom (His country and rulership) and His righteousness in our lives first. We are to live selfless lives. All Christ-followers should follow this example of Jesus. And especially pastors.
But being selfless is NOT the same as being reckless toward our own health and recovery periods.
Notice that Jesus merely postpones His alone time. He does not forego it, or neglect it or completely ignore it. Pastoral ministry that is modeled after Christ Himself will often look the same.
Jesus had compassion, and healed the sick. He did not get annoyed at the crowds for following Him. He did not take the easy way out that the disciples had suggested- (to send the crowds away while they were hungry).
He remembered that these precious people were why He came to earth- He came to seek and save the lost and to tell them His main message: The GOSPEL OF THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.
Matthew 4:17
New King James Version
17 From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”
Matthew 4:23 NKJV
23 And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people.
He started off wanting to get alone with The Father (v13). Then the crowds came. After healing them, and feeding them, He did send them away. He sent His disciples away on a boat. He stayed alone. He rested and prayed to the Father in Heaven. He also likely felt the grief of losing John. In His alone time, He would have experienced rest, and recovery as He communed with God the Father.
God the Spirit does not get fatigued. But God in flesh, subjected willingly to the limitations of flesh, DOES get fatigued. His humanity needed a rest. And so do we. As believers and also as pastors.
It's ok to get away from the friends, companions, church, crowds, and work, and spend alone time with God the Father. In fact, it's more than ok, it's necessary. These are the healthy boundaries based on the actions and lifestyle of Jesus when He was on the earth.
He never ever neglected His ministry or calling, but He also ensured He rested and prayed and got personal recovery. There are many times like this in the Gospels. (Other examples: Luke 9:18; John 6:15)
I think the disciples might have wondered why Jesus would send them away. They were not just students or disciples or learners. They were His friends and companions. But here in Matthew 14:22, He sends them away. Then as He sends away His disciples, He dismisses the crowds, who were now satisfied and healed.
There must come a time in our day and/or our week when we realize we need a break, a time alone with God and ourselves. Self-neglect is not selflessness. Rather, Self-neglect is destructive. Don't neglect your personal rest and recovery time. Sometimes, as pastors, we must postpone it for a time. But It will come.
As we selflessly seek God's Kingdom and ask for it to expand on earth, and serve God's people in God's calling, God will always be faithful to provide you with openings for personal rest and recovery. Discover them and take them as you need them. Jesus was fully God and fully human. We should take notes on how Jesus balanced rest with work.
My take-away from this passage in Matthew 14:10-23 is this:
Jesus did not neglect His rest and recovery periods, He briefly postponed it at times out of compassion for the lost and the sick and the brokenhearted. But such postponement was not the norm and we should, if possible get into a daily or weekly routine which includes rest and recovery. God is a God of recovery. God the Father Himself rested on the seventh day, after creating Heaven and Earth. God, who does not get tired, CHOSE to rest. Let that minister to you.
We need to choose to rest. YES that might sometimes mean saying no to certain activities or outings or invitations with friends. Those friends may not understand. Just plan to re-schedule at a different time and place.
Now of course, resting does not mean being lazy and doing nothing all the time. But I never struggled with being outright lazy. I struggled finding time to rest in a busy bivocational schedule like mine. Sometimes I still struggle. But now, I am getting better at choosing to rest. Rest makes ministry and other forms of work more enjoyable!
Middle age has made it a necessity for me as my body is not quite as energetic as it used to be. Physically and mentally, I am healthy and strong thank God, but we are not meant to just keep working all the time.
AND, I am blessed that I now have a lovely and godly wife, Jenny, who helps me and ministers to my needs (and I minister to her needs also). She recognizes how hard I work, even when I don't see it myself. She supports my work and also encourages me to rest at the right time.
Ultimately God gives us opportunities to rest, but it's up to us to recognize them. Jesus is calling:
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| Resting stones, at Lake Simcoe in Georgina, ON. Photo (c) By Curtis J Alexander 2022. |
Matthew 11:29-30
New King James Version
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Learn to accept God's invitation to rest. Get regular intervals of rest with Jesus. Learn to recognize the time to postpone rest, and also the time NOT to postpone it. God's Love and compassion toward people will be your motive in postponing your rest on occasion (Like Jesus). Just understand that postponement is meant to be temporary.
Blessed rest will always come to to all those who come to Jesus and choose to abide in Him.
When balanced with the work of the ministry, the call God placed on you, rest is just as productive as work! Work will be more productive when you find rest for your soul (mind, will, emotions) in Jesus!
God bless,
Pastor Curtis
Assistant Pastor
ChurchOnTheGO.ca
Newmarket ON.
Thu Dec 1st 2022
4:31am Eastern Time.
I speak regularly on Tuesday nights at our church, giving the congregants interactive Scripture studies. I rotate my Bible topics every week. On the nights when I share about Genesis, I will be using this graphic for the next little while.
