And now for a widely unpopular topic, with a positive spin: the Benefits of Abstinence as a Christian Single.
This post is going to be a touchy subject for many of us, but it needs to be clarified: There are many benefits to abstinence in the single life. There is a reason why God tells us to wait until marriage before having sex.
This post is going to be a touchy subject for many of us, but it needs to be clarified: There are many benefits to abstinence in the single life. There is a reason why God tells us to wait until marriage before having sex.
Keep in mind, I have been married so I know both sides of the topic I am discussing here. I have only ever been with my wife, and it was after we got married. She walked away on me, but I was true til the end of the marriage in 2009. I have since remained abstinent. And I am still alive and well!
Now before we continue, it is important I note that I am not writing this to draw attention to our past sins. We all have something negative in the past, BUT we simply confess it to Jesus and He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us TODAY. (1 John 1:9-10). That is Good News!!
You are cleared from your past if you repent and turn to Jesus!
So the point of this article today is NOT to focus on what we DID in the PAST. The past is covered in the Blood of Jesus and forgiven. Rather it is to focus on what we practice TODAY! Today is the day we are in, and today is the day we can make a choice to either stay pure, or get pure. This post is meant to encourage and challenge you, and also to help generate new thoughts.
Scripture teaches that sex is designed by God ONLY for marriage (a licenced covenant wedding with signed witnesses), and so is cohabitation between man and woman. See Romans 13:13- "chambering" is disallowed (Greek: KOYTAY- means both sex and cohabitation) and Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage" (Greek: GAMOS) makes the "bed" (Greek: KOYTAY) pure. (Read in the King James version or the Geneva Version).
Romans 13:13 KJV
13Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
Romans 13:13 GENEVA VERSION
13So that we walk honestly, as in the day: not in gluttony, and drunkenness, neither in chambering and wantonness, nor in strife and envying.
Hebrews 13:4 KJV
4Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Hebrews 13:4 GENEVA VERSION
4 Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Those of us who are single, or single-again need to find encouragement not in what we CAN'T do, but in what benefits we DO have as singles!
There are 10 benefits (at least) to sexual abstinence as a Christian Single:
1) There is a GODLY REWARD for keeping God's Word. (Psa. 19:7-14)
2) You stay UNTANGLED IN CONSCIENCE and EMOTIONS - keep your emotions and spirit from being entangled with people who have no intention of loving you or marrying you. And it keeps your conscience clear. Sometimes WE are the one doing the hurting, sometimes we are BEING hurt. Either way, abstaining from sex outside of marriage is a great way to minimize hurts and entanglements.
3) HEALTH - prevent the further spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
4) PREGNANCY PREVENTION- Prevent unexpected/
5) WORTH - you elevate your SELF WORTH when you abstain from sexual relations outside of marriage.
Do you know your identity? Who are you in Christ? (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) You are a HOLY TEMPLE! Your Body has been purchased by God with the blood of the Lamb!
A man of self-worth in Christ will say: "Only the woman who marries me is worthy of this temple of the Spirit- which is my body."
A woman of self-worth in Christ will say: "Only the man who marries me is worthy of this temple of the Spirit- which is my body."
We are made in the image of God. And God operates in covenants, like marriage, when it comes to relationships.
6) BECOME STRONGER AT SELF CONTROL - Self control -temperance- is a fruit of the Spirit. No one is perfect at it, but we can all work at it by God's grace! It is highly valued by God and is very essential to living a non-destrucive lifestyle. Everyone needs self control!
What is better? A proper dam that blocks/
7) CLEARER PERSPECTIVE - if and when you are dating, it is already tough to stay objective and try to guage where you are at in a relationship. Practicing sexual abstinence gives you a CUTTING EDGE of PERSPECTIVE that others will not have as a single in the dating world. Some will give their body in a relationship where the sex is nice, but everything else is a disaster. They often cannot see clearly enough to end the relationship, nor do they usually find the will power to do so, because the flesh hates to give up sex once it has been experienced.
8) HEALTHIER ATTITUDE TO RELATIONSHIPS in general- we are a spirit, we have a soul, and we live in a body. (1 Thess. 5:23) The Spirit comes first. We must live by the Spirit, and let the soul (mind, will and emotions) and body be ruled by our spirit. When we realize that people are spiritual beings FIRST, before they are soulish or sexual, we begin to approach relationships differently. We begin to focus on spirit and soul more than the body.
By practicing abstinence til marriage, we are allowing ourselves to see others' spirit and soul more.
9) ENHANCES SELFLESSNESS - Abstinence is an AWESOME way to practice being selfless, and to focus on serving others before yourself.
10) You are PRESERVED and PURE!
If the son mentioned in Proverbs 5:1-14 was wise, he would stay clear of fornication and adultery and enjoy the benefits:
Protection of honour and mercy (v9)
Protection of strength and labour (v10)
Protection of flesh and body (v11).
BONUS BENEFIT: 11) ELEVATES SEX to a place of honour, as within marriage. If you have a high opinion of sex as I do, then you will see the BENEFIT to waiting until marriage. It tells everyone, including any person you date, how special you think the sexual union is and how special God made it to be.
If you stay away from the wrong influences and act like your temple is WORTH something to God, and to others, and to yourself then you will see the BENEFITS to abstinence! Don't panic if this was not your way before. As I said, Jesus is more than willing to forgive and cleanse you. Just confess to Him, right here, right now. Let Him set you on this amazing path. It is a disciplined one, and unpopular in the world. It is difficult at times. It will test you. Rely on the Holy Spirit, because it is so very rewarding, and easy on the conscience.
God bless!
Dec 4th 2014 1:03am EST
Very well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you,
Blessings
You are most welcome Kathy!
DeleteThank you for reading!