God bless.
QUESTION:
Why Date?
ANSWER: The Biblical Marriage Covenant between one man and one woman. An overall look at Scripture reveals that God operates in COVENANTS. Covenants are God's mode of operation.
So the marriage covenant is God's creation and foundation for oneness, companionship, for sexual fulfillment, and also for family and for nations.
Hebrews 13:4 New King James Version (NKJV)
4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Note: "Bed" is "Koytay" in the Original Greek and refers to both the sexual union and also to cohabitation. (See Strongs Number G2845). Do you want God to bless your house and relationship? If YES, then Learn what the God's Word says about cohabitation here.
Gen 2:24 NKJV Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
QUESTION:
I DO desire/value God's Biblical marriage covenant. WHO should I date in order to work towards that goal?
ANSWER: Date someone who is like-minded, and of one faith according to Christ Jesus (not according to popular opinions or according to worldly standards.)
Romans 15:5 NKJV Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus,
Philippians 2:2 NKJV fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
Ephesians 4:5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism;
QUESTION:
How do I know if I am in a good relationship, worth pursuing to marriage?
ANSWER: The answer here is 3-fold
1. They support your God-given geographic calling
2. They consistently demonstrate God's love as defined in 1 Corinthians 13.
3. They willingly and eagerly walk in agreement with you on the major issues.
1. They support your God-given local/geographic calling and are present/interested in it:
1 Corinthians 7:17 New King James Version (NKJV)
17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. (note: the word "churches" here is plural, indicating that the calling is also geographic as well as vocational/ministerial).
2. They demonstrate GOD'S love (agape) as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. Agape love is FAR MORE than sexual interest or flirty feelings or even a general appreciation of each other. TRUE GOD-LOVE IS SACRIFICIAL.
Insert your interest's name into this passage where it says "love" or "charity" and you will gain new insight into your present dating relationship. Here's an example.
Original text:
1 Cor 13:4-7
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Now... try replacing the word "love" with your love interest's name and see if the statements in this passage remain true:
1 Cor 13:4-7 (personalized)
4 ____(your interest's name)_________ suffers long and is kind; _____________ does not envy; ________ does not parade himself/herself, __________is not puffed up;
5 _____________ does not behave rudely, _____________ does not seek his/her own, _____________ is not provoked, _____________ thinks no evil;
6 _____________does not rejoice in iniquity, but _____________ rejoices in the truth;
7 _____________ bears all things, _____________ believes all things, _____________hopes all things, _____________endures all things.
And if you are feeling extra brave, try inserting your OWN name to see if the statements remain true!
The ULTIMATE expression of LOVE is Jesus Christ, God's Son. Put Jesus's name into this passage and these statements are TRUE to the FULLEST EXTENT.
Finally, the 3rd part to this answer:
3. Do they walk in agreement with you on the major issues or in constant disagreement? If your date is constantly and eagerly walking in agreement about the general direction you both should take, then that is a good sign. Now I should add a disclaimer here: This AGREEMENT is about major life choices and lifestyles and faith. I am not saying you should date a yes-woman or a yes-man who NEVER disagrees on the smaller details. I would suggest that is a bad sign if they never express a difference of opinion on anything. They are not being open with you, if they always agree on small details with no expression of opinion. Be careful as that could become a problem within marriage. Instead, the type of agreement we are talking about here is directional and life-shaping agreement. Do you have to constantly drag/coax/convince them to walk with you/pray with you/read the Bible with you, OR do they come EAGERLY and WILLINGLY?
In the book of Amos, God asks the question in a very simple way.
3 Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
If you cannot agree on which direction to take in life, that is an indication that maybe you need to release this relationship. BUT if you are in agreement on which direction to walk in, then you may have the beginnings of a proper foundation for Biblical Marriage as instituted by GOD!
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Question: Do I have to get married or can I remain single?
Answer: Read Paul's Holy Spirit-inspired advice about singles and married folks. He really gives a solid set of guidelines, and leaves the choice up to each believer as the Lord leads them. Singleness has its advantages and so does marriage.
So I recommend you read all of 1 Corinthians chapter 7 to get a fuller insight into God's heart. One thing God did not intend is for two people to remain unresolved (as in dating, but not progressing toward marriage). The marriage covenant, according to God, should be the end-result of successful dating/courtship.
If a couple is stuck in their relationship, due to practical, geographic, or spiritual disagreements they may need to spend some time with the Lord and reevaluate their relationship. Let the Holy Spirit shed the light of God's WORD on your situation. Be ready for the TRUTH. Be ready to get HONEST with the Lord and with each other. Truth and Grace together will bring PEACE in Christ, even if it means dropping a dating relationship. As painful as that can be, it will save the couple from an even worse marriage. So no, you are not obligated to date. But if you do, be sure to date God's way, with pure Biblical standards and marriage as the goal.
Key verses from 1 Corinthians 7.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord.
33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.
34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.
35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
So there is nothing wrong with choosing not to date. Some people find contentment in singleness as they walk with Jesus and serve Him in the Call. The CALL is the main point of 1 Cor. 7. (See 1 Cor 7:17-24). Indeed, the ability to remain single for a season may allow a Christian believer to serve Jesus without additional distractions.
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QUESTION: How do I know if my relationship is of God, or not? What if God isn't in it, and I am just being led by human emotion?
ANSWER: The Holy Spirit teaches us dynamically every day as we pray and listen and read the Word. This is all through Jesus Christ.
John 14:26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.
Hebrews 4:12 (NKJV)
12 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Note here that the SOUL/psyche (human mind, will, and emotions) is divided from the human SPIRIT (pneuma). God's Word does the dividing here. By reading the Word and letting the Holy Spirit HELP you understand it at this present time through a living and dynamic relationship to Jesus Christ, you will start to be able to sort out the difference between your emotions and God's Truth. God's word will help you see if your emotions for a person are in line or not. Emotions can be a wonderful thing. We need them in order to have a fuller relationship with our partner. But we must learn to submit our souls to the Spirit of God first. We follow the Spirit over the emotions. This is a core part of discipleship.
The Word (our Lamp: see Psa. 119:105) has a way of cutting through the emotions and the soulish issues to get to the core of a relationship. We live and walk by the HOLY SPIRIT, not by the SOUL.
Romans 8:1 NKJV There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
Please PRAY about everything and seek God on your own. This article is NOT professional counselling advice and is only meant to be a Bible study tool to help bring clarity and light.
But any decisions you make are between you, the Lord and the person you are currently dating.
So these are some basic questions and answers to help you on your journey in the often-confusing, often-unclear world of dating. The Bible is our LAMP from the Lord God, and the Holy Spirit is our HELPER to HELP us bring much needed CLARITY. May the Lord give you Biblical SUCCESS in love and dating and marriage (if you should choose to pursue it)!
God bless you on your walk in Jesus!
Pastor Curtis
Mar 24 2019 2:26pm EST
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