Single or Married - Discipleship's different costs

Cost Of Discipleship
Married or single, following Jesus will cost you something. Salvation is free, but discipleship will cost you.
Your worldly life, and even some of your natural connections to the world and your family will die as you walk with Jesus.
Jesus wants you to Himself.

For singles, particularily childless singles, discipleship looks a certain way. It costs us a lot in certain ways, like companionship, personal prayer from a spouse, and sexual fulfillment. But in other ways, singles pay less than married people in order to be a disciple of Jesus. Jesus Himself was a single man on the earth. Singleness was an awesome tool in His hands which He used to bring all of humanity the way to be saved! He died on the cross, and rose again on the third day. That is the way we are saved, by faith in the grace of Jesus, who died in our place and rose again.
So salvation is truly free. No matter what sins you committed in your past, you can be forgiven in Jesus and saved. (See Romans 10:9-10, 1 John ch.1).

BUT, once you are saved, true discipleship will cost every disciple. No question about that. Indeed some Christians pay the ultimate price sometimes because they are killed for their faith. It happened all throughout history, and still happens in the world today.

In less extreme circumstances, discipleship will still cost you. It will cost you things you want in the flesh and it will cost you sometimes in popularity or in comfort or in all of the above.
If you are married, you are forced to make more use of the tools of this world- money, schooling, etc. If you also choose to have kids, that makes it necessary to make even more use of the world's tools.
None of these things are bad in themselves... but they can have a collectively heavy feeling on those who are trying to give their all to Jesus.

The Apostle Paul summed it up quite nicely in this text from 1 Corinthians 7:

1 Cor. 7:27-35 NKJV
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 
28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, 
30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, 
31 and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.
32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 
33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 
34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 
35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.

Having a wife (or a husband for my female readers) means you must look after her needs, by making use of the world. Having children will increase that burden even moreso. It will draw you even further into making use of the world, a world which is fading away quickly. This is an important responsibility-- raising children. But it is heavy, and it is not required in order to be a disciple of Christ.

So, if you can manage to balance natural family with discipleship to Jesus, then it is fine. Childless singles do not have such a pull on them, they do not have two forces calling their attention in two different directions.
And certainly if a man of God married a woman of God, and both are committed disciples, they have an advantage... knowing that they are both willing to put Jesus FIRST.
Nevertheless, marriage and natural family will be a challenge for the disciple of Christ. Yes, natural family was created by God and is good and is blessed. But God also created the spiritual family of Christ through Jesus. Both the natural and spiritual family is important. The spiritual family is eternal.
For married people, the cost can take on a very different look than it does for singles.
Jesus explains it in the following Bible verses:

Luke 12:52
For from now on five in one house will be divided: three against two, and two against three.

Luke 12:53
Father will be divided against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”

Mark 3:25
And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

The stark reality of the Gospel and of discipleship and of serving Jesus is that it will sometimes divide natural families. It is not any fault of Jesus or of the disciple. But the children will sometimes rebel. Sometimes even the spouse of a disciple will rebel.
The Gospel will ALWAYS have a unifying effect on the true SPIRITUAL family of God (The Body of Christ/The churches). But the Gospel often divides natural families because of the rebellious sinful nature of unregenerate humans. It's not Jesus to be blamed, but our own selfishness in refusing to put Jesus first.

And when we DO put Jesus first, the wife/children may get jealous or upset. Many people think the wife and kids must come first, but that is not what Jesus says. The cost is very real. Jesus drives this point home... we are to love our family yes, and treat them with dignity and respect. But we MUST LOVE JESUS MORE than anyone or anything.

Luke 14:26 NKJV
“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.

That word "hate" in this context means "to love less". In other words, you must Love Jesus MORE than your wife and kids... if you DO in fact have a wife and kids. For women this is equally true. Jesus demands that female disciples also love Him more than they love their husband and kids.
He makes this crystal clear because He knows that natural family does not always want what God wants. So when it comes time to choose, (and the time to choose WILL come to all married people and to all parents) will you choose Jesus' practical way over your family's practical ways? What will you put into practice? Who will you follow? For singles, this choice must be made also. Things like career and friends and extended family can have a pulling effect on the childless single. But the effect of that pull may not be as poignant and demanding as the pull experienced by a married disciple from his wife and/or children.

Luke 14:27 NKJV
And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.

Luke 14:33 NKJV
So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.

So the choice is yours... marry or stay single. Either way, bearing your cross is unavoidable. But the shape that cross takes is determined by the circumstances of life which God gives you and is also determined by whether or not you get married.

 Some have already been married and ended up divorced. Some who are divorced have one or more children as a result. God bless you if you are in such a situation.... Jesus loves you and your child, in the same way He loved and blessed the single parent, Hagar and her child Ishmael.

Choose the difficult narrow path: choose Jesus and His way. He IS the way. (See John 14:6) And if you choose to get married, prepare to face the cost of discipleship in a new light. And if you do choose to have children in that marriage, that is a GOOD thing. But again, be prepared or the inevitible cost of discipleship that will eventually catch up with you. Jesus must come before your wife, and before any child you bring forth in the natural. Jesus taught that. It will cost you, and sometimes He calls us to place natural family on the altar. (See Abraham and Isaac).

Never fear though, because God gives you the strength through Christ to accomplish all this and more... if you WANT a natural family that is. (Read Philp. 4:11-13 for full context). You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! Like Paul, we can learn to be content in Christ whether we suffer loss (of things like family support) or whether we enjoy abundance (of things like family support). Natural family is a blessing from the beginning of Creation. It is affected by the sin of Adam. Jesus redeems individuals and can even redeem entire families from sin. Division in families only occurs when some members of the house do not want freedom from sin.
So Jesus does not require His disciples to get married or to produce children in marriage.
But He gives His disciples the freedom to get married and even to have children if they so desire. He gives them that freedom with a warning: you must love Me more than you love them. And that love will always require practical proof at some point down the road. That practical proof of your First Love will be costly.

All disciples must bear a cost for following Jesus the Lamb. You may be single and childless. You may be a single parent. You may be married and stay childless. You may be married and plan to have children. Regardless of what circumstance you are in, Jesus is with you to help you bear your cross of discipleship.

AND as Paul tells us, all of these different kinds of costs we bear are temporary. So regardless of the temporary cost we bear now, it is not to be compared with the eternal glory we will enjoy in heaven with Jesus! And we are not required to have a natural family in order to be accepted by Christ. Grace through faith ALONE is what makes us acceptable and saves us.

Ephesians 2:8 NKJV
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,

2 Corinthians 4:17 NKJV
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,

1 Peter 5:10 NKJV
But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.

Should you get married? And if so, should you have children? That is between you and Jesus (and the person you are considering marriage with). There is no right or wrong answer here.
 If He gives you the heart for such serious responsibilities, go for it! He will help you pay the cost of such a heavy path!

But just understand that if you are walking in the Spirit of God, then there is NO CONDEMNATION on you if you choose singleness or childlessness. God does not punish us for keeping our lives fixed only on Him. He rewards us for diligently seeking Him! And, He helps us to do that. If you don't have it in your heart to get married or remarried, that's ok! You are accepted in Jesus regardless.
Or if it is not in your heart to have natural children, then that is perfectly ok! You are accepted in Jesus!

 God has other things to fill your heart with like the care of His church and His spiritual children!
Singleness is not to be imposed on people as mandatory. But at the same time, it is also not to be shunned or looked at as a second-class. Marriage and natural family is important and sacred. So is singleness.
 In actuality, Jesus and Paul kept their lives single and simple in the natural and they used that to their advantage to advance the spiritual family of God. Singleness is sacred to God because of Christ.