And, for those who do not know, I was once married. And by entering the marriage, I knew I would be childless. A certain medical condition made it impossible to have natural children. I believe in miracles and at the time I married my ex-wife, I believed that the Lord could help us get pregnant if we asked Him, despite the glaring sterility we were faced with. I made the decision to love her even though I knew she could never give me children. And I married her knowing full well I would likely be childless for life. I was ready for it. I accepted it. And eventually, despite my faithfulness and love, my ex-wife abandoned me and we ended up divorced sadly. Years later she would apologize to me, and I fully forgave her, and released her back to the Lord. I have no further dealings with her, and she is free from any debt she owed me. That is what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is freedom from a previously owed debt. I want to be forgiven by my Heavenly Father, in Jesus' Name. So I forgive, with full sincerity and full release of debt. It is liberating.
And yet.... after 4 years of marriage and stress and abandonment, and 7 years of divorce and loss, I am here, thankful. I am serving the Lord. He maintained me. And He has blessed me to bless others, both children and singles and other Christians as well. I minister in a local church. I have been doing so for 16 years. I bless children without having any of my own, and I am still completely happy and
content in that. I still have no natural desire to produce children. And I am so thankful to the Lord that my exwife and I did not produce children- those children would have had to suffer through a divorce, and that is always a nightmare for children.
My only desire is what Jesus said:
John 4:13-14 Geneva Bible
13 Jesus answered, and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water, shall thirst again:
14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him, shall never be more athirst: but the water that I shall give him, shall be in him a well of water, springing up into everlasting life.
Matthew 10:42 Geneva Bible
42 And whosoever shall give unto one of these little ones to drink a cup of cold water only, in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward.
Jesus Christ, who had no natural wife or children, desired to bless the children who came to Him. I wish to continue to bless children in that way:
Matthew 19:13-15 English Standard Version (ESV)
13 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, 14 but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” 15 And he laid his hands on them and went away.
I desire to keep giving the little ones a cup of living water. It's what keeps me going. It inspires me. I realized that my childlessness blessed me with an ability to selflessly serve the Lord with undivided distraction. When one has natural children, you can believe there will be distractions. There will be blessings too. But a lot of heartache and loss as well. Some children rebel against the parents. Some parents disown their children. And a lot of it is because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Read very carefully what Jesus says in Matthew ch. 10. It is a sobering statement, and it should make those of us who are childless more grateful that we have such a gift.
Read on:
Matthew 10:34-39 1599 Geneva Bible (GNV)
34 Think not that I am come to send peace into the earth, but the sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 And a man’s enemies shall be they of his own household.
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me. And he that loveth son, or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
39 He that will find his life, shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake, shall find it.
This is not to diminish the precious gift of having a baby or a child in the natural family. Each child is a blessing, and if there were no children, then I would have no ministry!
So this passage does not diminish the blessing of having children, but rather, it is to give us disciples of Christ a wake-up call to the COST OF DISCIPLESHIP.
Bottom line: The more natural family you have, the more it will cost you to follow Jesus. The less natural family you have, the easier it is to follow Jesus without distraction. Childlessness means less chance for persecution from family members.
God has given me this ministry and part of it is blessing children, giving them a cold cup of water in Jesus Name. The living water of Jesus Christ is what I provide them... the water that Christ Himself provides to me. I am a well. You are a well. God fills us as vessels so we can pour out to others.
Now I want you to consider, from Scripture, that it is not just those with natural children who are blessed. But those without their own natural children are also blessed. They are blessed in a different way.
Read what God's Word has to say about blessing the childless:
Luke 23:29
For behold, the days will come, when men shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck.
Isaiah 56:4-5 English Standard Version (ESV)
4 For thus says the Lord:
“To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
who choose the things that please me
and hold fast my covenant,
5 I will give in my house and within my walls
a monument and a name
better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name
that shall not be cut off.
Now in Luke 23:29, the context is that the women were lamenting the crucifixion of Jesus Christ as He was carrying His cross. Yet He turned and told them to weep for themselves and their own children instead. Life was about to get a lot harder for those of Jerusalem with children. It was soon after the resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ that God sent Titus the Roman leader to destroy Jerusalem and all who were in it perished. By that time, the Christians had already escaped because of the warning Jesus gave long in advance. But those who were childless had an easier time escaping and had less to lose if they were perchance killed in the raid.
Now looking at the blessing of the childless people in Isaiah 56:4-5:
These eunuchs, unmarried/childless men, were dedicated to the Lord. The Lord promised to give them a name and a monument that was "better than sons and daughters." Why is the name better? Because it is eternal!
You don't have to rely on natural children to continue your family name and lineage when you already know you yourself are going to live forever as an overcomer in the Heavenly Temple of God! You are not passing on a natural name. You are continuing the family name that lasts forever. You are in the lineage of the ETERNAL FAMILY NAME of Jesus Christ! In Christ, you shall never die, even if your body passes away. You will get a new, incorruptible body at the resurrection of the saints, when the Lord returns!
You don't have to rely on raising your own kids, when you can give the little ones, the children in church, a cup of cold LIVING water in the Lord's Name. You can help to raise SPIRITUAL CHILDREN... that is, children who are adopted into the family of Christ.
The NAME and the MONUMENT promised to the childless men of God in Isaiah 56 sounds a LOT like the eternal NAME and the PILLAR promised to the overcomers by Jesus:
Revelation 3:12-13 1599 Geneva Bible (GNV)
12 Him that overcometh, will I make a pillar in the Temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the Name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is the new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God, and I will write upon him my new Name.
13 Let him that hath an ear, hear what the Spirit saith unto the Churches.
Also, by overcoming the World system's corruption, and your own fleshly corruption, and the devil's lies, you will be given a NEW NAME:
Revelation 2:17 GENEVA BIBLE
Let him that hath an ear, hear what the spirit saith unto the Churches. To him that overcometh, will I give to eat of the Manna that is hid, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth, saving he that receiveth it.
So I want to really encourage you. Your success as a disciple of Jesus Christ has nothing to do with bearing children. In fact, if you are childless, you have the advantage of serving Jesus without distraction, and without the possibility of internal persecution. Now we know persecution will come to all genuine believers... from somewhere. But satan generally likes to stir it up from inside families. So if you are unable to have children, or if you have decided to give your all to Jesus without having children, then just know that the Lord is on your side. He does not ignore you or put you on the sideline.
There is so much emphasis placed on family in the church, that those of us without a natural family sometimes feel ostracized. I don't think it is intentional. But the fact is, God blesses and uses childless people as much as he uses families. And no matter what your natural status is, we can ALL be a part of the Heavenly Family through Jesus Christ our Lord!
God bless you,
Pastor Curtis
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