I found an interesting meme online today, and was inspired to make a commentary on it:
Allow me to comment on this meme using Scriptural principals and also my life experience thus far:
1) I am responsible for my own emotions and happiness. I will never rely on another human being to be responsible for something they have no control over: my happiness. They might have some influence, but not control. This includes any romantic interest, bosses, coworkers, friends, family, and those I minister to or those I receive ministry from. At the end of the day, I still make the call to be happy or not. Most days, I choose to be happy with my lot in life, knowing God is sovereign over all.
I own up to my responsibility for my own emotions. That is part of mature adult life.
And.... I learned a long time ago that even if I try my hardest, I simply cannot "make" someone else happy. In other words, I cannot directly control the soul/emotions of another. I wouldn't want that kind of control anyhow. But, I can do kind things for them, perform a task in an excellent way, or say encouraging words (as I love to do). And yet... it is the other party's choice to be happy about it or not. Trust me, I know from experience and observation.
This in no way deters me from striving to do my best in any form of communication, service or relationship. We should always strive for excellence in our thoughts, actions and words, regardless of who notices us or thanks us or is happy because of us. I am still learning and growing at this!
2) If by "complicated", the meme writer means "confusing" then yes, we are not to invite confusion into our lives. BUT IF "complicated" simply means "complex" to this writer... well... all relationships are complex. Some are less complex than others, but all have some degree of complexity. Even good relationships get "complicated" at times. Jesus promised we would have trials in this world. But He also said in this promise: fear not, I have overcome the world.
Love relationships are very complex. After all, we are spirit, we have a soul (soul = mind, will and emotions), and we live in a body. We are 3-in-1 beings! When you put two 3-in-1 beings together, there is complexity, diversity, depth and richness of relationships.
3) Hurt, and pain is something we should avoid inflicting on others. But because of fallen human nature, we inadvertently hurt our loved ones. Sadly, this is inescapable, even in truly good relationships. We all fail at times. And yes, sometimes we hurt each other in words or actions, not out of malice, but out of heated or rash decisions that were made in poor judgement in a moment of weakness. It is for this reason Jesus tells us to leave our gift at the altar and make amends with those whom we have offended. Then after that, we can pick up where we were. Also, Jesus tells us to forgive so that we may be forgiven of God. It is unrealistic to expect a 100% pain-free relationships while living on this planet in its current state. It should be noted that forgiveness and "trusting again" do not automatically go hand-in-hand. The Bible never commands us to trust someone who is proven to be untrustworthy, only to forgive them.
Another angle: When parents discipline a child for wrong behaviour, as Proverbs tells us they should, there will usually be a consequence for that misbehaviour. It might mean a little bit of "pain". Like a loss of privileges for a while, or being grounded, for example. That is the kind of pain that tells of deep love, and of parents who wish their child to grow up and become excellent adults in the real world.
That said, we should always act in love and always think of the feelings of our loved ones, coworkers, bosses, friends and family before speaking and acting. And the same goes for our relationship to God. He can be grieved at some things we do as well, but you do not see Him abandon His people just because we sin again or fall short on occassion. He is faithful and merciful and loving. He will never abandon or forsake us. When we confess our faults directly to Jesus, He is faithful and just to forgive us. We grow closer in love with Jesus. We can choose to do the things that are pleasing to Him.
Thur June 18, 2015, 1:57am EST