6 Things I have Learned as a Mid-aged Adult

What I've learned during mid-life so far.

It has been a special and wonderful journey with the Lord. 

So many life lessons, some were easy, some were difficult.

Yet I have learned, and continue to do so. And hopefully, you can glean some insight from my experiences thus far.

Speaking only of numbers, midlife is something that people loosely define as the period between the late 30's to mid 60's. Some say 40-60. Others widen the range. Whatever the numerical definition is, it is clear I am well into my mid-life by age as I am in my mid-40s. But part of mid-age life cannot be defined by a number. It can only be defined by our mindset. 

Truth be told, I felt that I was entering the mid-life around the age of 35. Why? Well let me get into my list of lessons learned and I will be happy to elaborate. Allow me to share why I believe mid-life is not necessarily a set number, but a combination of internal factors (including mindset and maturity) that may vary from person to person: 

1. Mid-life is the time when you become more clear about setting, and communicating your boundaries. A number of years ago, at age 35, I learned what my work limits were. I was trying to add an extra business into my life because someone else asked me to. I wasn't fully sold on the idea but I went along with it because I wanted to help. And it eventually caused a lot of stress. My day off was no longer a day off. And the business project spun its tires so-to-speak. The people we were trying to help with this business did not take ownership or really press into what was being offered. So after a year, I was happy when the other partner decided to let go of it. I also quit that venture. And the person who originally recruited both of us dropped us like a hot potato. I will never allow that kind of boundary breach again. I am happy as a bivocational pastor. I enjoy working in retail and in ministry. I put in many long hours at both vocations. I have been doing retail work for nearly 28 years now. And I've been in ministry leadership for almost 23 years. I know the Lord called me to be in both of those areas. It has been tried and tested.
 But trying to add a third thing in there was detrimental to my peace and ability to rest. I was out of my element. So it was at age 35,  when began to truly identify and enforce what my personal boundaries were for work and rest. 

God has told us that boundaries are a good thing! 

Psalm 16:6 HCSB

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

2. Mid-life is the time when you begin to notice physical changes.  I was getting white hairs even at age 30. But they were very unnoticeable. These days, I have visible silver streaks in my sideburns and beard. And I am glad to have them. The Bible even says we should see them as a good thing if we are living a wise life in right-standing with God:

Proverbs 16:31 NKJV

The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, If it is found in the way of righteousness.

Also, I have noticed little signs of aging on my body, such as tiny age spots on my hand, extra wrinkles, and a varicose vein. (Yay). 

But I look to the Lord.
Jesus is the Healer, and as a believer, we have His healing power within us. 

So aging should not be a scary thing when we know God has unlimited strength and healing for those who believe in His Son Jesus. And God never runs out of power! He never changes! He is always able, in every generation. 

Mark 16:17-18 NKJV

17 And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; 

18 they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

3. Midlife is the time when you begin to show a bit of age, but it isn't always apparent to others. They may even consider you "young" due to their lack of context. For instance, they do not know your decades of experience or see those tiny age spots or varicose veins or silver hair streaks. Rather than try to correct them, and point out my age, I decided it is better to accept the kind compliment!! Enjoy being percieved as "young". I do enjoy it, because I know I eventually won't look as young and the compliments will stop.

 So my habit is to THANK people for the "young compliments" and to tell them to "keep em coming"! I make sure these kind folks know how much it means to me that they still see me as young, when in fact, my young days are well behind me. Understand, I am not one of those people who clings to youth and denies my age. No, I embrace my age, no matter what it may be. I do not fear getting older. I refuse to try to hide my age.
 But, hey! I also cannot refuse a GREAT "young man" compliment from random customers in the store either! That really makes a mid-ager's day!! 

 I don't always feel as young as they perceive me to be. (I work with many young adults, and I am more than double their age- old enough to be a "dad" to them. I also don't have as much boundless energy as I did in my youth.) 

4. Midlife is the time when you personally come to realize you are neither "young" nor "old". You are in the middle. So we should not see ourselves as "old". I know it can be a fun joke to call ourselves that. But we are not seniors. And we are not youth. We are mid-aged.
 So, we should view mid-age as a time of opportunity. It is a prime time of life. No age bracket should be minimized or dismissed. No matter how old or young a person is, all people deserve respect and dignity as human beings (inside and outside the womb). God can and does call people of any and every age bracket.
 But sometimes I think mid-aged people panic and think their life is over at age 35 or age 40 or age 50 etc. In Christ, your life is just beginning. He is your life. 

Don't talk to yourself as if you can't learn or do anything new, or that you are "getting old". God may be just getting started with you! 

5. Midlife is the time when we begin to moderate and control ourselves more. We have generally matured and grown up. Now, this one is more subjective to the individual. Maturity is not found in a number, but in the quality of your personal traits, habits, and mannerisms. The traits of a mature adult are found in the Bible. (See Bible references including: 1 Cor 13, James 3:17, and the Beatitudes of Matthew ch. 5.)

Are you able to yield to another person's view? Are you able to let go of a fruitless argument? Are you willing to slow down and consider other people's perspectives and needs? Are you good at listening to understand?

Are you gentle and merciful?

These are just some of many examples of mature character. No one is perfect and we should all be growing more mature throughout our lives. But mid-age can be seen as a time when we generally get a good handle on maturity. 

6. Mid-age is a time when we truly hit our "rhythm" in life. We have a metronome - a pace in our life. And we keep that pace at a healthy level. Young people tend to rush too much. But by the time we are mid-aged, we are more prone to stop and think things through more, and pray about it. Not that young adults cannot have a steady pace or good decision making skills. And it's not that mid-aged adults have perfect decision making abilities either. Far from it.
But as a mid-aged adult, you are generally better at decision making than you used to be. You can think things through, and still be decisive. Experience has a lot to do with it. Again, this kind of even-paced lifestyle is not determined by what age you are. It comes when an adult has reached an equilibrium and now has a generally steady pace in life. You have a strong routine, and a steady, stable approach to new changes and challenges. 

   

God bless!
PC

Apr 2 2023 4:00 am Eastern.