If you are only here to debate, please know that you are free to hold your own views of Scripture, but you will never win an internet debate on these topics. Trust me I know. You are free to agree or disagree but don't expect others to change their convictions for a stranger on the internet. Just sayin.... If you happen to disagree with my study, that's ok. I just ask that you please be respectful in your comments. No one has the whole understanding of all things, only the Lord Himself. I am simply offering up here some truth, as The Holy Spirit has revealed it to me, to those who have endured the loss of a broken marriage covenant. The goal here is encouragement and healing and hope for the future. Thank you!
:)
Ok so now that I have stated that disclaimer, let's continue:
Rom 8:1-2 KJV
1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
There is life after loss. I want you dear Christians who are divorced (but never wanted it to be this way) to drink in these deep truths from Romans 8:1-2.
There is no condemnation on you. You are in the Spirit of God. Not the flesh. Stay close to Jesus and do not let those who throw the law of sin and death at you discourage you. The law has been changed.... and is in perfect harmony with Mosaic Law. The Law of sin and death is satisfied in the Law of the Spirit of Life. You are free and without condemnation in Christ. Let that minister to you. Let the Spirit of God minister these words to you.
God has given me new healing and life in Christ by His Spirit, after being abandoned/separated, and then later on after the divorce was finalized. There is new freedom for me in Christ. Ten years after divorce, I am a changed, healed and restored single man. I am not tied to my past. I no longer have a wife. I am free in Christ. Free from condemnation. Free to move into a new future in Christ as He leads me.
Divorced Christians, there is no condemnation on you if you are walking daily by the Spirit of God. You are free. Breathe it in. You are not tied to a dead past, a broken covenant. You are free. Even if you did sin, sin is confessed and brought under the blood. Repentance is made, and a new lifestyle is created in Christ. And possibly a new marriage too.
But in order to embrace this freedom we must understand some difficult passages of scripture that some translations do not do justice to.
I feel it is necessary to bring some clarity on this topic.
SO in order to embrace this LIFE after LOSS
There are two different words being used in Matthew ch.19:
1. v9 "put away" meaning physical separation/dismissal and
2. v7 "writing of divorcement" meaning a legal divorce decree.
Mat 19:7
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
Mat 19:9 KJV
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
WORDS:
"put away" is Strongs# G630: "Apoluo"
https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G630&t=KJV
Thayers Dictionary:
to set free:
to bid depart, send away
to let go free, to release;
used of divorce, to dismiss from the house, to repudiate:
writing of divorcement is defined as
Strongs # G647 https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G647&t=KJV
apostásion, ap-os-tas'-ee-on; neuter of a (presumed) adjective from a derivative of G868; properly, something separative, i.e. (specially) divorce:—(writing of) divorcement.
PUT AWAY means separation or dismissal. Please note that this word is used to DISMISS the crowds that were following Jesus at various points.
SEE:
Mat 14:22
And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent G630 ➔ the multitudes away. G630
Now, obviously Jesus did not "divorce" the crowds. He sent them away. So the thrust of this word's meaning is on the physical separation between individuals, whether they be crowds leaving Jesus or a wife leaving the house of her husband.
But when combined with APOSTACION, then APOLUO can also mean divorce. But a person who is unmarried cannot commit adultery - they would require a spouse first before they would be able to cheat on them. Hopefully this never would occur, but the point stands.
For singles, sexual immorality is the sin of fornication. For married people, adultery is the sin. So note above that Jesus only uses the word for dismissal or separation in verse 9. It is not the complete package.
If the woman was truly divorced, then she could not be an adulteress! If the man was divorced, then he could not be an adulterer. But because they are not divorced, only "put away" (separated), then their marriage still stands and any external attempts at a new marriage are considered adulterous in that context. In short, Jesus was pointing out that the Jews had forsaken Moses' law.... and that a separation is not final without a divorce. And a woman cannot remarry without that writing of divorcement.
So apoluo refers to the PHYSICAL aspect... the literal, physical separation of husband and wife. This means they are no longer living in the same house together.
And apostacion is the LEGAL aspect, that recognizes and finalizes that the convenant has indeed been broken and the contract has ended.
Note that Jesus does not use this word apostacion in His statement in v9. Some newer translations muddle the two words together and translate "apostacion" and "apoluo" BOTH as "divorce", but this is not accurate. The writer used two DIFFERENT words for a reason. That reason is because both have significance. You NEED both words in order for a divorce to be valid. This is why I am using the old King James Bible for this particular study, because this version properly differentiates between the two words and helps keep the understanding that Moses gave in Deut. 24:1-4.
It is the "writing of divorcement" which ends a marriage contact and allows the wife to marry someone new, according to Moses. Jesus never disputes this. Jesus instead takes the Jews to task on separating from their wives (putting away) without divorcing them... and then marrying a new wife. Jesus said that is adultery. He does not promote divorce, but He also does not deny its validity in ending a marriage covenant. He is in complete agreement with Moses on this. All Scripture is inspired by God from the Old Testament to the New. There are no contradictions of doctrine between Moses and Jesus.
But Jesus does emphasize the original intent of God for marriage in Gen ch. 1 and 2 for the husband and wife to be joined together and to be one flesh. Jesus was brilliant in explaining Moses without contradicting him. This whole discussion with the pharisees was meant to be a trap for Jesus, but Jesus handles it with wisdom. But today I am afraid many divorced Christians are being held in bondage by legalists who want us to believe that divorce does not end a marriage. But Scripture tells us that this just isn't the case.
Deuteronomy 24:1-2 New King James Version (NKJV)
1“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,
2 when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife,
So note here that Moses says the same thing.... the putting away must be accompanied by a legal document declaring the end of the first marriage BEFORE the woman can remarry. Remarriage is never forbidden by Jesus OR Moses... only the idea of marrying a separated, NON-divorced wife.
So back to Matthew 19.
Separation= apoluo - and is translated as "put away" or "dismiss" in the KJV Bible.
Divorce = apostacion - and is translated as a "writing of divorcement". This is what completes and ends a marriage contract in Mosaic law, and it also protected women who were dismissed by their husbands. The Bill of Divorce protected the woman from false claims of her being an adulteress. In the Old Testament, adultery was punishable by death.... that means a divorce would have been UNNECESSARY!
So that bill of divorce proved the wife was not an adultress, and thus not worthy of death. She was then free and marry someone new. See Deut. ch. 24:1-4 for details.
Mat 19:9 KJV (with comments by Pastor Curtis)
"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away ("put away" = "apoluo" meaning primarily to separate or to dismiss) his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery (Adultery is a sin committed only when it involves married persons, thus this couple has not been legally divorced yet, they are merely separated!): and whoso marrieth her which is put away (Separated) doth commit adultery (because she is not divorced [Greek word "apostacion"], only separated.)".
Please note that Jesus does not use the word for "writing of Divorcement" in this statement. That word is only used by the Pharisees to try and trick Jesus. But Jesus does not fall for the bait. Instead He targets their sinful practice of separating from their current wife to go date and marry some other woman. It is a sin because there is no writing of divorcement... the current marriage contract was never ended, and thus they were ignoring Moses!
See word used in Mat 19:7
"They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement (apostacion), and to put her away (separate)?"
So I want to encourage you divorced Christians.... you have a new day, a new start from the Lord, whether you remain single for now, as I am, or whether you remarry. Just know there is no condemnation of those who follow the Spirit of God instead of the flesh (Rom 8:1.)
And to all you dear Christians who are separated, I was there. I know the heartache. I understand the confusion, the desire to be with someone new. But I urge you, please do not date or attempt to plan a new marriage when you are still just "apoluo", separated. For Jesus' sake, and only if the marriage is truly unsaveable, then please obtain a legal "apostacion" writing of divorce from your local government. Divorce is not a nice thing or a thing to be taken lightly, or a thing to be performed on a whim. It is a necessary tool sometimes, when a serious problem occurs and one spouse breaks the covenant through adultery or abandonment or abuse. Even the Lord Himself has had to use divorce when dealing with an unfaithful spouse (The Ancient Nation of Israel became an adultress whom God promised to redeem- Jer. 3:8; Isa 50; Hos 1.).
Jesus emphasized that the ideal of Genesis ch. 1 and ch.2 still stands as the Christ-honouring standard between one man and one woman, for life!
Mat 19:5
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
To all those who are separated who were abandoned or cheated on... I understand you. I felt the same kinds of feelings since I was also abandoned by my exwife, who had rejected God's Word. God healed me from brokenness and abandonment. I pray He will heal you as well. But running into someone else's arms while separated is confusion, and harmful. Only God can detangle your situation, not a new lover. Be patient and let the Lord work His perfect will in your life. Wait on the Lord. Receive the HONEY of the SPIRIT's LAW in your life... the law of the Spirit of Life (Rom 8:2)! God breaths new LIFE into you!!!! After the divorce, you have new freedom to HEAL and spend time with JESUS. And if someone new happens to appear in your life, down the road, you have a chance at a NEW marriage in Christ! Why? Because your divorce ended the previous contract and you are no longer just "separated".
God bless
Pastor Curtis
May 21 2019 2:25pm EST
PS The Lord suddenly moved me to write this blog entry today... and it just so happens to be on the day I was married, 14 years ago. God has since healed me after the divorce and made me a whole man, complete in Christ and there IS LIFE after being abandoned. There is life after the loss of divorce. 10 years after divorce, I can truly attest to that. So just cling to Jesus and let Him protect and guide you.
FOR MORE on this topic, listen to this study on Divorce and Remarriage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSctWjChhVA&list=PLcdRbY7K0PbnKabDfglzzBi17TdcZvpvA&index=14&t=0s
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