7 Benefits to Being Date-free

If you are a Christian single, perhaps you find yourself in the same position as me.

Perhaps you have been date-free for a number of years.

Perhaps it is time to consider the benefits you can reap from your current situation. I mean, most of us as singles would eventually like to meet and marry someone. But if this is not happening, then we need to ask the Lord to open our eyes to what He HAS given us in this season of being single and without a date. Yes the feelings of being unwanted and unloved are tough to resist. It is hard not to fall into a pity party slump. Believe me, I know. God had to deal with me a number of times. But He has successfully balanced out my thinking over the years. He is so good!!

SO... I want to stretch your thinking a little bit.

I have been living this way, just letting God do as He wills in my life. Now I never planned on being dateless (I planned for the opposite actually). However, it just happens to be this way. There is nothing wrong with me. I am perfectly acceptable just the way I am. I am no less of a person than any other human being. My worth is in Christ. If you are date-free, then there is nothing wrong with you. It just happens to be the season you are in. Nothing more, nothing less. You are perfectly acceptable and loved in Christ.

The last person I dated was my ex-wife before we married and that was about 10 years ago! And my marriage ended over 5 years ago. So I have experienced being date-free as a Christian single for a while now. Here are some of the many benefits I have discovered over the years.

1) You are able to focus more completely on the Lord Jesus Christ. He should always be your first and most central relationship anyway. But a single who is also date-free, is usually blessed above many others with extra time to seek Him and be with Him and be transformed by Him. God loves me, and He loves you. He thinks about you and wants to be with you every day. Did you know that? Do you really process that fact in the depths of your soul? Let God have a good 2 or 3 hours of your time at once. Maybe a half hour at a time. Anything. Just give Him your time and your heart and watch what amazing ways He will know you and love you. He deserves your love and attention in return!

2) You are able to heal more completely from past relationships. It is so important to not rush into dating or new relationships after a divorce or a breakup. Slow down. Take it easy. Regardless of whether you think you are "ready" to start over or not... you should never rush into something new.
 Breathe-- and let the Holy Spirit work on your soul. Let Him minister to you so that you can begin to mend. The longer a marriage is, the longer it takes to heal from it if it were to end. These are facts I have observed and lived through. Being date-free allows you to really recover and regroup. It teaches you to cling to Jesus, not another human being. Only the Lord can heal us and make us complete to our innermost being. Remember that. I have experienced so many sweet and powerful encounters with the Spirit of God and every time He meets me, He goes deep in my soul and makes things just a little bit better, a little more like Christ. He comforts me and allows me to be real and to come clean with Him. So much "junk" has to be brought to the surface - stuff we have been harbouring for years. God knows what it is, and where it is hiding in your soul. And He knows it takes time to remove all the "shards" of hurt that are embedded in the human soul. God's healing comes to our mind and emotions most often by a process. It is rarely instantaneous. Like a skilled and experienced surgeon who will work on a heart patient for hours at a time, God will gently operate on us. It may take years, depending on how we as individuals respond to His touch. Now, would you rather God discover and remove those past hurts, or would you like them to overflow and be dumped out on a new romantic interest? Just something to think over.

3) You can develop in your calling, vocation, and passions. If you haven't taken time to develop your calling in life, this is the time to do it, while you are single and date-free. Since becoming single again, and remaining date-free, I have been blessed by the Lord to really allow my creativity flow. I have not been sitting around waiting for someone to find me. No. I have chosen to write over 25-30 songs in the past 5-6 years and I have been pressing on with my Bible lessons which I teach weekly. I have also birthed a new ministry to Christian Singles and a couple of web pages to go along with that ministry.

http://www.churchonthego.ca/christiansingles.html

https://www.facebook.com/christiansinglesonthego

 I have taken on the piano at church since 2007. It was a huge blessing that was actually a gift to me at a time when my personal life was falling apart and I was in deep pain. My piano ministry came through loss and pain. Yet without the loss, I would not have been engaged in piano, worship leadership, and song writing. Praise God for His ability to turn something negative into a positive!

I only talk about myself to be an example for others. I know you too have passions and a calling for God. You have something to do today.
God wants you to develop who you are and what you care about in life. He wants you to discover what HE cares about and to focus on that with Him. What is your VOCATION? What has God called you to be a STEWARD over?

In addition to that: What are you going to share with a special someone if you never develop your own calling and interests? Take this time TODAY to explore what God has laid upon your heart and do what He wants you to do. I can say for certain that expanding and exploring my creative and Biblical passions has brought me much joy and fulfillment. God has actually used my music and writing, in part, to bring me healing.

4) Save money - This is a more straightforward benefit: if you aren't dating, you aren't spending money on dates! Men and women both spend money on gifts, fuel, and other things while dating and it can be very costly (not always, but usually.) What does the Lord want you to do with your money? Ask Him! Let's be wise stewards!

5) Save time - If you are not spending time with a date, your time is free to do other things. Time is valuable, like money. Spend it wisely. If the Lord has not opened the way for you to date right now, then ask Him what He wants you to spend your TIME on.

6) Keeping your heart (Proverbs 4:23) is easier. A long and hard lesson for me, has been to keep my heart. Out of it flow the issues of life. As long as you are date-free, it becomes easier to keep your heart in a Biblical way, without becoming unreachable. Too often, those who are love-starved and crave a deep connection of significant meaning are too willing to give their heart too soon. They are willing to spill their heart. Yet that other person may just walk away or hurt you. This is not to say we should go hide in a corner and never meet new people, but it is to say that we are better able to keep a close eye on our heart when we are date-free. If God has not opened up a dating opportunity for you yet, perhaps He is helping you protect and guard your heart. Everything He does for us is out of His immense love for us.

7) It is easier to practice sexual abstinence. As a serious Bible-believing Christian, this is so huge. Sex (and cohabitation) between man and woman is designed for Biblical marriage (a covenant signed by witnesses). See Romans 13:13 KJV and Hebrews 13:4 KJV. If you remember my last post on this blog, you will recall I listed 10 benefits to practicing abstinence as a Christian Single. Plus I gave one "bonus benefit"! As long as we aren't spending any time with a person of the opposite sex, abstinence becomes easier to practice. Now it is true that other kinds of temptations will always be around, regardless of our relationship status. But if you are date-free, it is easier to guard your sexual purity. Sexual purity is very good and very beneficial to you now and also in the future!
---

So these are just some of the benefits I have discovered in my personal journey. In whatever circumstance you find yourself in, always seek to find the good in it, and be thankful for the benefits God has given you in it. The whole world may be screaming "It's bad to be single and without a date", but this is nonsense. Both dating and not dating have their strengths. Both marriage and singleness are proper gifts of God. One has this kind, another has that kind. (1 Corinthians 7:7). Seasons do change. Some seasons will be permanent. Others will not be so permanent. Keep seeking Jesus and His will for your singleness.

 The Lord's Spirit softly whispers to those who call on (and trust in) Jesus: I am here. I am with you. My favour and grace is all you need.

Bless you!
~CJA

===Sun Dec 14 2014 11:51PM EST===